The Highest Compliment

Shawn Jr is a great kid.  Shawn’s journey has highlighted some of his best character traits and has caused me to admire him even more than before.  

Don’t get me wrong, I have not always been happy with Shawn Jr.  For all his intelligence, talents, and terrific character traits, he often did not work as hard as I would have liked.  He coasted a bit by being smart, likable, good looking, and charming.  He never did as well in school as he should have.  His grades were not strong for a boy who is much smarter than your average student.  For a father who is constantly pushing the importance of academics, I was annoyed when he didn’t work harder in college.  Shawn was a great athlete, but never became the player he could have been because his athletic work ethic was just average (confirmed by both Jared and Bryan who have both been Shawn’s roommates at Baylor and at home as well as his teammates in basketball since he was in the 3rd grade).  Despite these things, I was never too worried about Shawn.  As he got older, I was sure he would find a direction and would be fine.

Shawn Jr is, without a doubt, a momma’s boy.  Misty and Shawn Jr have always had a special connection.  Because he was homeschooled for so many years, they spent tons of time together and Misty instilled in him his best character traits - kindness, selflessness, respect, bravery, love for others and a heart for Jesus.  Because of his mother, Shawn turned into an outstanding adult and would have made a wonderful husband and an even better father. Since we got the news on Friday, Brittany and Noelle have talked a few times about how sad they are that their kids will not get to hang out with their uncle Shawn someday. Shawn is incredibly great with kids.

It is easy for Shawn to make friends because he is just a nice guy.  He is never mean to anyone.  Coaches love Shawn because he is always respectful and coachable.  Even though he would not turn in his homework or really study, even teachers love Shawn.  For a guy who is pretty quiet and actually fairly reserved (like his mom), he won “Most Courteous” his senior year of high school in a class with nearly 500 students, mostly because he smiled/laughed a lot and was kind to everyone. He is just easy to love.  

I was exchanging texts with a friend of mine who was also a former basketball coach of Shawn and has been following him closely.  This guy was one of the first people to reach out to our family when we got Shawn’s diagnosis and has been engaged every step of the way.  I was telling him that he would be so proud of Shawn in this process.  Shawn has been a class act.  Always being respectful (even when his Dad is continually annoying him), being kind to his siblings (especially Triniti who he has historically given a hard time), being respectful to the health care professionals, and generally thinking of others before himself every step of the way.  He has been so selfless. As his condition got worse, he told us that he was not scared of dying but was sad the family would have to deal with it after he’s gone. He has also fought hard with a strong and willing spirit. This past Friday afternoon, when Noelle got to Houston she sat next to Shawn and told him she loved him and that he had done a really good job fighting the cancer, to which he quickly responded “I ain’t done yet”. He has voluntarily, and without complaining, done all kinds of scary things in this process.  This is a kid that hated needles and would avoid them at all costs. And yet, in the course of 3 months, he has endured several major surgeries and is poked with needles literally all the time.  The poor kid has been in the hospital the majority of the time over the past 2 months.  He has endured through it all with a terrific attitude.  

I sometimes wondered if having my name was a bit of a burden on Jr.  Maybe he thought I was expecting him to be uber “successful” (in the way the world views success).  Maybe others expected him to choose a professional or personal path that looked like mine.  I certainly didn’t have that expectation.  I knew Shawn would be a huge success in the areas of life that mattered most - relationships with other people and his relationship with God.  

The way Shawn has handled this experience has been the best Shawn I have ever seen.  I am super proud of him and have learned so much from him over the last 4 months.  

A mother we know through homeschooling once told Misty that the highest compliment that she could get was for another person to describe her children as “kind.”  I was struck by that comment and found it to be very unique and insightful.  Years later, I am proud to say that my 21 year-old-boy meets that description and his mother and I see it as the highest compliment.

Photo credits to https://bekindtoeveryone.com/.  The “Be Kind to Everyone” logo is from a project called the “Jordyn’s Summer Shirt Project.”   It was started by an incrediable young lady named Jordyn Moore.  She is 18 years old, has autism and started this “Be Kind” project about 1 year ago.   Go check them out.