Are Cancer Patients Courageous?

You often hear that people fighting cancer are “brave” or have “courage.”  I was always a bit perplexed with the use of that word in connection with a person that has cancer.  I get that it is meant to be a word of empowerment.  An encouragement to a person that is going through struggles every day just to survive.  Courage is a noble word that invokes admiration for the actor.  But is it the right word?  Is this really courage?  

Before living this struggle with Shawn Jr, I thought it was a nice intent, but the wrong word.  To be courageous or brave means electing to do something that puts yourself in harms way.  It is voluntarily choosing to do an action despite the apparent danger.  This is not really what a cancer patient is doing.  No one elects or volunteers to get cancer.  Then when you have cancer, a person is going through the treatment process to get better.  Sure it is hard, but is that really courageous?   I didn’t think it was - until now.  

Through Shawn Jr’s process, I now think use of the word courage is the right word.  While there are many other words that accurately describe the acts of people battling cancer, I now think courage is in the group of words that are good descriptions and might, in fact, be one of the most accurate words.  Sure, no one elects to get cancer, but I now understand that, when you have cancer, it takes great courage to elect to do all the little things in life that were once commonplace.  People living with cancer step out with bold courage despite the potential dangers that are inherent with their condition.  Bravery is knowing what’s ahead and doing it anyway.  

Let me give you an example.  For Shawn, it takes courage to go to sleep each night.  Because breathing is such a “manual” exercise for him, going to sleep is scary.  He is worried he is going to stop breathing and it is actually a somewhat legitimate fear.  He is continually short of breath and cannot take in a deep breath.  To explain this to my kids, I told them to imagine that you had to go to sleep under water and could only breathe through a small tube.  That would be scary.  But, despite the perceived risk, Shawn has a routine each night that we go through and he falls asleep.  He doesn’t approach the night with a sense of dread, he approaches it with a since of purpose and strength.  This can be said about lots of things he is doing everyday.  

Our family has been with Shawn Jr every minute of every day since he was diagnosed with cancer.  I sleep in his bedroom on the floor each night.  His mother is with him constantly.  His siblings and some friends have put their lives on hold to be with him during this time.  We are living this close up.  This group of people watch Shawn fighting this battle every day and I know all of these people would say that Shawn Jr has been very courageous in this process.  

I now get it.  People with cancer did not choose the disease.  But, they choose to live their life with strength and determaination through a series of hard choices in the face of real challenges and daily fears. That is courage.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬