5 Years - We Miss You

 

It has been 5 years since Shawn Jr. died.  Some days it feels like an eternity has gone by, yet the painful memory of sitting beside Shawn's bed at MD Anderson is as vivid as if it happened yesterday.

This past year has been another journey through the ebb and flow of life.  Lots of exciting things are happening in the Helms family (e.g., second grandchild coming any day, Shawn Fletcher growing up fast, younger Helms kids in real relationships, older Helms kids with real jobs and responsibilities, cheerleading, volleyball, school, etc.).

I often think about how Shawn Jr. would react to the happenings of this past year had he survived his battle with melanoma.  He would be 26 years old.  He would be super excited about the growing Helms family and looking forward to meeting his new nephew.  He would be giving Noelle a hard time for living in Houston.  He would certainly be thrilled that the Texas Rangers won the World Series, Luka won an NBA scoring title and the Dallas Mavericks made it to the NBA Finals.  He would be pumped that the Mavs signed Klay Thompson (one of his favorite players).  He would feel a troubling kinship with Ninja (Twitch’s biggest streamer) who was recently diagnosed with skin cancer.  He would be rolling his eyes over the silliness of the US Presidential race.  He would be proud of what we are doing with Helms Hope. 

Reflecting on Shawn Jr.'s life brings a mix of emotions.  It’s nice to remember the good times.  Shawn Jr. was a beacon of light in the family. His jokes, laughter, kindness, and zest for life brought a certain energy to the family.  Then there is the pain of his death.  The pain is a constant, dull ache, sometimes sharp and overwhelming, but mostly just a persistent reminder of his absence. Our home is still filled with the energy of family and kids, yet there's always a sense that something, someone, is missing. 

Shawn Jr., you are forever loved. You are more than a memory and we will see you soon.  Until then, we will miss you.