Showing posts from August, 2019

Sports Have Turned Dark for Me

Everyone that knows our family, knows that sports are a huge part of our life.   Misty and I both played sports as kids and in high school.  Misty was an incredible athlete and played volleyball in college.  Both Misty and I are huge baseball fans.  We have always enjoyed basketball, football, tennis, volleyball, gymnastics, the Olympics and many other kinds of sports.   After we became parents, we encouraged our kids to play sports.  We have always believed that sports, particularly team sports, teaches kids critical life skills.  We also get tons of enjoyment out of watching our children play sports - win or lose.  But, if I am being honest, watching them win is more fun.  :)   We have spent countless hours taking our kids to baseball practice, volleyball games, gymnastics workouts, basketball tryouts, soccer games, flag-football practices, tennis lessons, and the list goes on.  If we added it all up, I bet a significant part of our lives as parents have been spent going to and from

Children Belong in the Future - Not in the Past

The day Shawn Jr died, I started praying a very specific prayer.  That prayer was that no parent I knew would outlive their child.  It is just too painful.   Parents are hard wired to love and protect their children.  So watching your child die seems to me to be the worst kind of pain.   I never want a parent I know personally (or any parent for that matter) to go through that pain.   Here is the thing about death.  It is expected to be the last event of your life.  You are born, you are a baby, a toddler, a child, a kid, a teenager, a young adult, an adult, a mature adult, a retiree, a senior and then you die. Death is something that happens to old people.  When you consider death, you prepare yourself to lose people in your life that are older.  Certainly losing a grandparent is hard.  But it is expected.  Losing a parent is even harder.  But it is expected.  People older than you die.  I have even considered the possibility of losing Misty before I die.   Logically, I know that any

Our Journey Continues

It has been just over 3 weeks since Shawn Jr died.  I am back at work and poring lots of myself into the Helms Hope Foundation.  Well I get up each morning, get into my car, travel the same road, and go into the same office, it’s not the same.  I am not the same.   We continue to feel unbelievably blessed by all of the friends and family around us that are continuing to hold us up.  Despite all this love and support, we are all struggling in our own way.   I’ve had a few different people recommend that I continue to record our journey in a public way.  Sharing stories of struggle and healing as they happen. Therefore, I have decided to continue to update everyone on our thoughts and feelings about the loss of our son on this blog. I hope anyone reading can take a little bit of our experience and can use it in their own life.