Mad at God?

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.”

Psalms‬ ‭22:1-2

People know we are a family of Christian believers.   A question I have been asked is if I (Shawn Sr.) am mad at God because Shawn Jr has cancer. 

Before I answer that question, let me tell you about a conversation I had with Jr.  Unlike his father, Shawn Jr does not talk much.  So, when he does, you want to stop whatever you are doing and listen close.  One of these rare occasions happened in the kitchen last week.  It was late.  After 11:00.  Everyone was going to bed and Shawn started talking.  It was one of those rare instances.  So I hopped up on the kitchen island and started listening and asking questions.  We touched on lots of topics.  I asked him if he was scared.  He said he wasn’t.  I asked him if he was mad at God.   Without hesitation, he said he does not blame God and is not mad.  In fact, he responded that he believes his diagnosis will be good.  He said he does not know what will happen but that he believes good will come from this terrible situation.  That having cancer will result in something good in his life, our life and/or for the greater good of God’s world.  That was his reaction.  It was not a flippant response.  It was just genuine and matter of fact.  He might as well have recited Romans 8:28.  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Now - how do I feel?  I completely understand why people might get mad at the situation and maybe even mad at God.  A critical diagnosis of your child.  The feeling of complete helplessness when they are in pain and suffering.  To say it is hard, is a vast understatement.  But, I have not, for one second, been mad at God.  I am not sure why, but I have not.  This is not an intellectual response.  It is honestly just my emotions.  I have not been mad.  I think it is because I know in my heart that bad things happen in this world and God does not make those bad things happen.  We know that we will suffer in this world.  But God does not want people to suffer.  Our God is loving.   

Let me revisit the verse from Psalms above.  Here is what it says - 

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy... ”

Psalms‬ ‭22:1-3

In difficult times, I hope I always remember that God is holy.