Shawn Jr's Journey

Everyone that knows our family, knows that sports are a huge part of our life.   Misty and I both played sports as kids and in high school.  Misty was an incredible athlete and played volleyball in college.  Both Misty and I are huge baseball fans.  We have always enjoyed basketball, football, tennis, volleyball, gymnastics, the Olympics and many other kinds of sports.   After we became parents, we encouraged our kids to play sports.  We have always believed that sports, particularly team sports, teaches kids critical life skills.  We also get tons of enjoyment out of watching our children play sports - win or lose.  But, if I am being honest, watching them win is more fun.  :)   We have spent countless hours taking our kids to baseball practice, volleyball games, gymnastics workouts, basketball tryouts, soccer games, flag-football practices, tennis lessons, and the list goes on.  If we added it all up, I bet a significant part of ...

The day Shawn Jr died, I started praying a very specific prayer.  That prayer was that no parent I knew would outlive their child.  It is just too painful.   Parents are hard wired to love and protect their children.  So watching your child die seems to me to be the worst kind of pain.   I never want a parent I know personally (or any parent for that matter) to go through that pain.   Here is the thing about death.  It is expected to be the last event of your life.  You are born, you are a baby, a toddler, a child, a kid, a teenager, a young adult, an adult, a mature adult, a retiree, a senior and then you die. Death is something that happens to old people.  When you consider death, you prepare yourself to lose people in your life that are older.  Certainly losing a grandparent is hard.  But it is expected.  Losing a parent is even harder.  But it is expected.  People older than you die.  I have even considered ...

It has been just over 3 weeks since Shawn Jr died.  I am back at work and poring lots of myself into the Helms Hope Foundation.  Well I get up each morning, get into my car, travel the same road, and go into the same office, it’s not the same.  I am not the same.   We continue to feel unbelievably blessed by all of the friends and family around us that are continuing to hold us up.  Despite all this love and support, we are all struggling in our own way.   I’ve had a few different people recommend that I continue to record our journey in a public way.  Sharing stories of struggle and healing as they happen. Therefore, I have decided to continue to update everyone on our thoughts and feelings about the loss of our son on this blog. I hope anyone reading can take a little bit of our experience and can use it in their own life.

We started the Helms Hope Foundation (helmshope.org) days after Shawn Jr’s death.  This is a non-profit organization, formed in Shawn’s honor in an effort to turn our family’s devastation into hope for others.  Melanoma is completely curable if detected early.  The Helms Hope Foundation will fight melanoma through an intense focus on awareness and early detection.  There are many world-class organizations that do great work funding research and treatment efforts.  Those are great, but that is not us.  Awareness and early detection can save lives with relatively little dollars.  We are working to develop programs with professionals that are in a unique position to help identify potential skin cancers, such as hair stylists and massage therapists.  By utilizing non-traditional avenues for detection, we hope to increase the chances of early melanoma detection.  Unlike most other non-profits, for the first year, HHF will not direct ANY funds dona...

Shawn Jr’s memorial service will be: Day:  Friday - July 19th Time:  10:00 am Facility:  Lake Pointe Church - The Bridge Address:  701 E. Interstate 30, Rockwall, TX 75087 Reception to follow at church. We would love for you to join our family as we remember Shawn Jr and celebrate his time with us.  Today we are also announcing the establishment of the Helms Hope Foundation, a non-profit organization to advance melanoma cancer awareness and research.  In lieu of flowers or other gifts, our family requests donations in Shawn’s honor be made to the Helms Hope Foundation at  www.helmshope.org .  All donations are tax deductible. We are motivated to help lead in the fight against melanoma.

Shawn Jr died exactly 24 hours ago.  We drove home from Houston yesterday and made it back late last night.  Leaving the hospital without Shawn Jr was so hard.  Pulling up to our home last night was maybe even harder.  I do this little thing in my mind every time I get home.  Because we have so many kids doing so many things, I have made it a habit to take an inventory of where everyone is at before I walk into the house.  Realizing Shawn Jr will never be there again caused me to just sit in the car a couple extra minutes.   I woke up a few times during the night and tried to sleep in late this morning.  I have been so tired and wanted to get some rest last night.  Because I have either been in the hospital or sleeping on Shawn Jr’s bedroom floor, I slept in the same bed as Misty for the first time in months.  I woke up several times in the night thinking about all the things that have happened over the past four months.  I have had...

Shawn Jr left this earth at 10:56 this morning.  We were right by his side.  He was peaceful.   See information about his memorial service  here . “ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans‬ ‭8:38-39‬ ‭NIV‬‬